A Thought on Nice Guys

So, I bet a lot of you have heard nice guys finish last, or girls love bad boys. Lots of 'nice guys' complain about being friend zoned.

Nonsense. I submit to you, the scientific CR community, that these guys aren't nice but weak. Confusable for one another, I know.

You do not be nice and allow others to have their way. You submit to their way for they are stronger. You do not set a line and let it not be crossed. You never lay down the law, or stand up for yourself. Going out of your way to help friends is fine. But always waiting on them hand and foot? Kindness?! Nay! Weakness!

It isn't that girls go for bad guys. Girls go for strong guys who stand up for themselves!

Amusing Names

Me and a friend were in Chickfila, picking up lunch. I was joking on him, which led to him saying things about me under his breath in a harmless, joking, fashion.

'Asshole. Dirtbag. Jackass.'

So I turned to him and said,

'Most of those are accurate depictions of me, but not nice.'

If he had milk in his mouth, it would have came out his nose. 

A Fifteen Year Journey...

It's been a long fifteen years....but....finally....I learned....

Ash's last name is Ketchum, not Ketchup.

New Story Promo - God Eater Ragnarok

A promo to my new story on Crunchyroll. Check it out.~



~~~~~



A long, long time ago, when gods ruled the lands.....

I pledge myself to thee.

There was one who dared defy them.

Take my soul and burn my mind.

A lone warrior. His home, his family, his loved ones....all claimed by the cruel gods.

Consume my flesh and drink my blood.

He who chose to forsake his humanity and lash out at those who would took everything from him .

All I ask of thee.....

The God Eater.....

Devour everything.......

RAGNAROK!

 ~~~~~

God Eater Ragnarok 

Things that Dance in the Night

I was walking back from a late class to my dorm, and saw a man do a backflip in the air not too far in front of me.

Well, okay.

I kept on walking, closer to my dorm now. There is a parking lot I had to walk through, with a fence taller than a person over to the left. The acrobatic fellow climbed up it, and started walking on it like it was a tight rope.

What?

I stood there and watched him for a few moments, and he kept moving forward without falling.

Weird things happen at night. 

Japan's New Recession, and Why I'm Happy About It

So, Japan has now hit it's fifth recession in the past fifteen years, or so I found out earlier today.

This is a good thing for us. With business becoming tighter for companies in Japan, they will seek for new profit opportunities across the sea that before they would refuse. The need for profit in a time of recession will force them to open up to trading with foreigners, which will mean an increase in visual novels, games, anime, manga, light novels....ect. being imported to the West.

I'll go get the champagne!


Phersu, you say, isn't that a bad thing to be happy about?

Well, it's not like me complaining or feeling bad about it will help. Might as well enjoy the silver lining. Plus, you know you felt a little jump of joy when you heard about it. A little voice in the back of your heads saying, 'My favorite series might be translated!'

I'm just honest about my little voice.

Phersu's Language Fluency List

English - Fluent
Tsundere - Fluent
Yandere - Native
Japanese - Basic
Kuudere - Basic
Dandere - Fluent
Eldritch/Cthulhu - Native
Nonsense/Gibberish - Fluent

Gender Roles in Society, Or Why Men Don't Talk in the Bathroom

We have numerous gender roles in society that we unwittingly conform to or believe in, such as what is acceptable and unacceptable for men and women to do that is fine for the other gender. One thing is how we behave in bathrooms.

Women tend to socialize in bathrooms, conversing with friends and including others in the conversation should they just so happen to be visiting said bathroom at the same time.

Men treat the bathroom like a minefield. You go in, do your business, and go out. If you are talking with a friend on the way to the bathroom, all conversation stops once you hit the door. All eye contact stops. You do not even look at each other. You don't stand next to each other at the stall. One stall must be left empty in between. If you go to a stall next to an already occupied one.....it gets awkward.

Really awkward.

Why, I wonder? Any ideas?

Why Are People Funny When Angered?

So, I made someone mad at me online a few days ago, and they were all....

'You blew your last chance. I'm blocking you.'

And I was all....

'M'kay.'

It was pretty funny, and a little confusing, as they never told me about any last chances or even told me they disliked my behavior/posts/general awesomeness before. So it came totally out of the field no-one expects things to come from. Was it to the right?

Anyways, I chuckled a little bit and then felt something deeply disturbing in my very soul.......I had drank a lot of water and really had to pee. So I did. Then all was well with the world and I continued being awesome.*


*Like a boss.

Breaking Free

So, I injured my mask the other day.

Yeah....I need to fix that before something bad happens like-ooh. I don't feel so well. Uuhhh......blegh....

-Unsavory sound effects.-

Shoot. I need a new mask.

A Response to the 'Men' Of No-Shave November

You call me out for shaving, to which I say you can do just fine since you can't grow facial hair in the first place. But, since I can....I get to shave all year long, whenever I want.

That's what being a man means. Getting to shave whenever you want. Regardless of November. It's a stupid month anyways. Just a placeholder for Thanksgiving between October and December. We should just combine them.

Hallow-Thanks-Mas.

Id, I am.

Allow me to drop some knowledge on you, Freudian style.

I am the id, the devil on your shoulder who operates solely on achieving pleasure. I have no inhibitions and no restraints. I want to eat, I eat.

My opposite is the superego, the uppity angel on your shoulder. Nobody likes him/her. Nobody at all. He/she/it sucks. Lots.

The person who we haunt and screw over is the ego, who balances us and allows me my pleasure realistically while also satisfying little goodie two-shoes so he/she/it doesn't nag.*




*Nag nag nag.**

**Get off my blog, Superego.

Why Mister Man

You see, a child once asked me....

Why mister man do you smile?

So I said -

I wear the mask of comedy,
To hide the name my soul bears,
Acedia.
For mine is the sin of stagnation,
Yet all I want is to move forward.

And I went on my way, bearing the weight of my sins hidden in my heart, with a smile and a laugh and a wave to the precocious little child.

So I kept on living, moving from place to place, drifting without a care in the world. Then one day I happened upon a boy, more than a child but not quite yet a man.

Why mister man, he asked, do you cry?

So I said -

I wear the mask of tragedy,
To hide the name my soul bears,
Acedia.
For mine is the sin of stagnation,
Yet all I want is to move forward.

And I went on my way, bearing the weight of my sins hidden in my heart, with a tear and a frown and a wave to the wise young lad.

 So I kept on living as I was before, spinning my wheels as I drifted from town to town, waiting for someone to light a fire under my heart and thaw what had long ago frozen. Then one day I happened upon a man, still young in his days but with an old heart.

Why mister man, he asked, do you cry whilst smiling? Why do you laugh with tears in your eyes?

So I said -

I wear the masks of comedy and tragedy,
To hide the name my soul bears,
Acedia.
For mine is the sin of stagnation,
Yet all I want is to move forward. 

And I went on my way, bearing the weight of my sins hidden in my heart, waving to the young man with tears streaming down my face and a smile on my lips.  

Excalibur!

I found Excalibur, guys! I was wandering through medieval Britain, and found this sword in a rock. Let me send you a pic from my Eldritch smartphone.*

If I pull it out, I become King of, like, England or something, right? I should totally do that. Wait, gotta take a selfie first. Hmm.....maybe pose like this....? Stick my arm out like that....and....perfect!

Hey. Hey, wait. Wait, kid, what are you doing? Stop! That's my sword! Don't touch it! No, no! Don't pull it! HEY! I SAID STOP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU AR-OW! WHAT THE HECK! I NEED THAT ARM!

Sorry guys, I'll be back. Gotta go kill King Arthur and eat Merlin. Also got to stitch my arm back on....or....just regrow it I guess. Bloody.


*The Ephone 5.

Indigestion Blues

Uuugh. Last week I ate Quiznos, and I suffered for it. What the heck do they put in those subs to give an Eldritch Abomination stomach cramps? Reminds me of that commercial they had a while back with these gross rats dancing in their ovens. I'd prefer the rats. I can eat rats without indigestion. Apparently I can't eat a chicken, bacon, and ranch from Quiznos, however, without indigestion.

I'll go trick Yog into eating there sometime.

The New Dere Archetype, Phersu-dere, or Sudere

So, I've created a new dere archetype, like tsundere or yandere. It is the Sudere, or Phersudere.


Sudere - When someone dere to you is also a genocidal, galaxy-devouring Eldritch Abomination with reality bending powers.

It's like.....the best new craze.

A Short, Four Line Poem

So, I read a thread on some forums about being thankful. This is my response.

As I lay to rest tonight,
I shall thank the stars that shine so bright,
For they guide me through the night,
Even when the distant lights aren't so bright.

- A poem by Phersu.

Hamlet - Phersu Edition

A missing, alternative scene of Hamlet, featuring Phersu. Totally real and legit. Written by Shakespeare and Phersu.


Hamlet -


Hamlet watched from his hiding place as his murderous uncle prayed, tempted to end him right then and there. But what if he did kill him now? Would he not go to heaven, being murdered during prayer?

"No. That's stupid. Just kill the bastard, Hamlet. Do it. Run him through, then let's go eat."

"Nay, dear Phersu, I can't allow the swine to ascend to Paradise."

"Hamlet, he murdered your father. He's going down to the bad place with pointy sticks and horrible marshmallows. Just kill him."

"But Phersu-"

"No! He's right there! Perfectly vulnerable!"

"I can't-"

"Everyone dies, Hamlet! Everyone dies if you don't just kill him now. Do it."

"That can't-"

"Your mom dies. Your friends die. Your girlfriend Ophelia kills herself because you suck at planning. Her brother dies. You die."

"Impossible!"

"You know who survives? Horatio. I mean, I like Horatio as much as the next guy, but seriously Hamlet. Just do it, you pansy."

"Hey!"

"Pansy say what? Pansy can't kill his uncle?"

"Stop that!"

"Pansy say stop? Pansy a little girl? Is that it, Pansy? You a little girl?"

"Rrrraaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Hamlet roars, fleeing from his cover and running his uncle through, killing him instantly.

"Damn right."

The End.

Mini Me!

Just got to post this here.....

Ain't I adorable?

Another Brush with Religion

I met the Flying Spaghetti Monster the other day.

I tried to eat him. I know, I know. Total faux pas on my part. But, I just thought he was food. I had bitten into one of those meatballs when Yog told me who he was. Bloody Yog. I didn't know FSM was his family. But I can see the resemblance.

Like twins. Freaking Yog. Hate that guy. But his cousin, FSM, is pretty chill. Makes some really good burgers. Out of this world. I mean, they're like White Castle burgers. If White Castle was an Eldritch burger joint.*

So, moral of this story? Don't eat flying mounds of spaghetti and meatballs. Also? Punch Yog. Guys an asshole.


*It actually is. 

Bed Time Tale

I had to tell Dagon's kid* a bed time story. Had to come up with it on the fly, and now I'm posting it here.

Dagon's kid is kinda ugly, by the way. Takes after his father, and not his dear mumzy. '

 *Kidthulhu Dagon.



Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a lonely young woman who spent everyday in her garden. She tended to her flowers everyday, nurturing them so that they might grow. One day, she found a small sparrow in her garden, sipping from the pond that lay within.

"Dear mister Sparrow," She said, "I have not seen you here before. Pray tell, are you from far away?"

"Nay, miss, I am not. These woods are my home, and I have come here often to drink from this pond."

"Oh, have you? I'm terribly sorry, I did not know."

"That's all right, miss. I come here whilst you sleep to drink. I fear I am not a social bird. But my thirst today was too great to wait for nightfall. I do beg your pardon."

"Fret not, dear mister Sparrow. You are welcome to help yourself to the water from my pond anytime, or even to take some berries from the bushes."

"Mighty kind of you, miss, and if you shan't mind, I shall take your kind offer. Food has become scarce nowadays in the forest. A lone bird like me doesn't stand much chance finding a meal as of late."

"You are alone? Have you not a mate or friends amongst your fellow sparrows?"

"No, I can't say as I do. I have no mate, and while I will trade with my fellow sparrows, I can't call any of them my friend."

"Why ever not?"

"I'm a peculiar sparrow, I suppose. I know not how to interact with the others, aside from simple business. Many a sparrow has caught my eye as a mate, sure enough, but I have not caught any of theirs."

"There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you, mister Sparrow. You seem like a fine bird."

"I am fine, as far fine goes. My wings are sturdy, my beak is sharp, and I'm healthy, but I fear that the problem lies in my mind. I can't seem to connect to other birds you see, no matter how I try."

"Are you alone, dear mister Sparrow?"

"No, dear miss. I am talking to you, am I not? How could I do so, were I alone?"

"I meant are you lonely."

"I suppose I am. Not now, of course, but sometimes."

"Would you say you're usually lonely?"

"I wouldn't know, miss. I've never been good at quantifying such abstract concepts. All I know is that sometimes I'm lonely, and sometimes I'm not. I wouldn't know if I am more one than the other."

"Do you want someone, mister Sparrow? A friend to talk to? One who will accept you?"

"Aye, that would be mighty nice, should I find one. But if I don't, then I don't. Lots of people end up alone, miss, lots of 'em. If I were to stay so, then that would be that. Just another lonely bird. I might not want it, I might not like it, but if that's the way it is....I'll accept it."

"Why don't you just change it, if that is the way it is?"

"Those things aren't easy to change, miss. I'd dare say some such things might even be impossible to change. No use fighting it."

"Oh, but dear Sparrow, look! I am here! You can talk to me, and I can accept you. All I ask is that you talk back, and accept me in return."

"Well, gosh, miss. That is mighty kind of you. I do believe I'd rather like that, should you really want a little ol' bird like me."

And so, the lonely women and the lonely Sparrow stayed together in the garden, spending the rest of their days with each-others friendship.



Shucks, almost brings a tear to my non-eye.

A Serious First Post

Totally serious. You see, I used to be a Christian by inheritance. My family was, therefore so was I. But recently, I came to terms with the fact that I am not a Christian, but an Extra-dimensional Eldritch Abomination.

I promptly quit(was kicked from) the Best Friends With Christ Forever Club. I had to give up my membership ring, and my friendship ring. I wonder, will it be one of those awkward not friends not enemies deal? Like....we meet each other at the buffet*, and our eyes meet, and we can't pretend not to have seen each other. So we force awkward, casual conversation.

'So....hows your dad?'

"Still God of Everything. So....hows Dagon*?'

'He's good.....he's good.....'

Then the whole buffet blows up because I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!

So. Welcome to my life, the faceless abomination that is Phersu. Call me Su.



* All Eldritch Abominations and Deities eat at Golden Corral.

** Cthulhu Dagon loves the Chocolate Wonderfall. He installed one in his home, but the fish people tried to swim in it.